Press release · July 2026 · For immediate release (the projector worked on the first try, a PTA first)

Announcing Soccer Mom Linux 1.2: the PTA Desktop Environment

The Soccer Mom Linux project today announced Soccer Mom Linux 1.2 — still codename “Minivan,” a decision that was not revisited at the meeting despite two separate attempts to add it to the agenda. With 1.2, the world’s most assertive operating system gets what every neighborhood needs: a desktop with opinions.

“A terminal is fine for the staff. But the PTA does not take minutes in a terminal. The PTA has a projector, a laser pointer, and a seating chart.”
— The Manager, adjusting a lapel microphone that was working fine

The PTA Desktop Environment: magenta wallpaper with the Soccer Mom Linux mascot, PTA Menu panel, and desktop shortcuts including Evict the Neighbors and File a Formal Complaint

The PTA Desktop Environment

Built on the reliable Xfce foundation and re-educated entirely, the PTA Desktop Environment ships on the amd64 and arm64 live ISOs and the Raspberry Pi image (Pi 4 and 5 recommended; the Pi 3 may need a moment, like all of us) and includes:

A full magenta-and-plum visual identity, including the official wallpaper (Live · Laugh · Linux) and a login screen where the clock reminds you that a manager will be with you shortly.
The PTA Menu, workspaces named The Front of the Store and Speaking to the Manager, and a panel clock that knows carpool is in 10 minutes regardless of the actual time.
The Register — a terminal themed in the house palette, where all existing 40+ commands (and all 41 customer-service error messages) work exactly as the bylaws require.
Desktop shortcuts for File a Formal Complaint (a GUI form; corporate takes these VERY seriously) and The Store Policy (you will be quizzed).
A welcome notification confirming the meeting has come to order and that the minutes from the last meeting were lost. This is being investigated.

The Desktop Installer

The eviction paperwork has gone digital. Evict the Neighbors (Install to Disk) sits right on the desktop and walks you through the full process in tasteful dialog boxes: property selection, the formal EVICTION NOTICE, the capital-letters acknowledgment, and a progress window narrating the move. It is the same fully-tested engine as the 1.1 command-line installer — UEFI and Legacy BIOS, no dual boot, no appeals process — now with buttons.

Availability

Soccer Mom Linux 1.2 is available now on the download page for amd64 and arm64 (now with the PTA Desktop), Raspberry Pi 3/4/5 (also with the PTA Desktop), and your web browser (console edition — the PTA voted against running a desktop inside WebAssembly on the grounds that it would be, quote, “cruel, even by our standards”).

About Soccer Mom Linux

Soccer Mom Linux is a parody distribution — real, bootable, genuinely Debian — created by Keith I Myers. The minivan is fine. The minivan has plenty of life left in it. Get in the minivan.

Download 1.2 →