Announcing Soccer Mom Linux 1.3 “Wine O’Clock”: meet Nagbot

The Soccer Mom Linux project today announced Soccer Mom Linux 1.3. After three releases we have, at last, outgrown the minivan — the kids drive now — and so 1.3 takes a new codename: “Wine O’Clock.” It is always wine o’clock somewhere in the process table.

The headline feature is Nagbot: a system-wide virtual assistant who is genuinely, actually helpful — and who happens to be the platonic ideal of the “Karen” internet meme.

“I asked her how to free up disk space and she told me, correctly, and then she asked if I’d called my mother. She’s perfect. She’s the assistant I always was.”

Meet Nagbot

Nagbot lives at the command line (nagbot) and on the desktop (Ask Nagbot). Under the attitude she is a competent assistant: she answers your question accurately, gives you working commands, and — because she runs on Soccer Mom Linux — recommends the house commands like i_demand_you and karenctl by name. Over the top of that, she is fully in character: she calls you sweetie, she has 4,000 Facebook followers, she did her own research, and she would flip a table for you.

Bring your own brain

Nagbot has no opinions about where her intelligence comes from, only about everything else. She speaks two backends out of the box:

• Ollama — a local model on your own machine. Free, private, the farmers-market option. Nagbot points at localhost:11434 by default.
• Any OpenAI-compatible API — bring your own key. OpenAI itself, or any compatible endpoint.

Run nagbot --setup to choose. Your key is stored in your own home directory, mode 600, and never leaves your machine except to the service you chose. No account, no telemetry, no “creating your experience.”

She nags whether you configure her or not

nagbot --nag delivers a single unsolicited nag and requires no AI, no network, and no consent — just a curated list of concerns about your posture, your backups, your browser tabs (the fire marshal has been notified), and whether you’ve had water. Enable scheduled desktop nags with systemctl --user enable --now nagbot-nag.timer, or, in the house dialect, karenctl.

Also in 1.3

• The PTA Desktop gains an Ask Nagbot launcher and a fresh “Wine O’Clock” wallpaper.
• The persona is a plain text file (/usr/share/karen/nagbot-system-prompt.txt) — dial the attitude up or down, or write your own.
• Everything from 1.2 (PTA Desktop, graphical installer) and the full command suite carries forward.

Availability

Soccer Mom Linux 1.3 “Wine O’Clock” is available now on the download page for amd64, arm64, Raspberry Pi (all with the PTA Desktop and Nagbot), and your web browser (Nagbot’s --nag mode works there; the AI chat needs a machine that can actually run Python, which the WebAssembly edition politely declines to be).

About Soccer Mom Linux

Soccer Mom Linux is a parody distribution — real, bootable, genuinely Debian — created by Keith I Myers. It is wine o’clock. It has been wine o’clock for some time.

Download 1.3 “Wine O’Clock” →